Finding The Excitement Again
It's been a turbulent five and a half months at college with the loss of my Supervisor. Without the direct guidance I've had to be self sufficient when it came to figuring my way through the technical work, and that has been less than ideal. I'd thought I was doing okay until I had my first supervisory meeting with my new supervisor yesterday - that's when I realised how vital the subject specific supervisors are!
As well as being introduced to some epic practitioners, I've been given some really interesting ideas about how to progress my work in the darkroom, and suddenly I'm able to see a way forward again. I hadn't realised how much the walls had closed in on me until my supervisor shone a light into the dark mess that is my current practice.
For a while now, the darkroom work, which used to be a source of deep joy, had become a means to an end and as much as I still loved getting in the darkroom for this project, the joy had all but been sucked dry. Without a way past the printing problems I'd been having I was stuck, and it felt a lot like banging my head against a brick wall.
But not anymore!
I left college last night, tired and overwhelmed but for the first time in a long time, utterly motivated and excited to get into the darkroom. I've got options now, if plan "A" won't work, it's all good because I have a plan "B", "C" and "D", and all after just one supervisor session.
I'll be honest, I was highly doubtful the 'new guys on the block' could offer me anything, I was sure it was going to be an uphill battle to get them to see what I wanted to achieve and to persuade them to help me -- Oh how wrong I was! Yes, there have been teething problems but for the first time in almost six months, someone said they were excited to see what I would produce, someone looked at my work in progress and understood it, someone got me as an artist, and it's so, so refreshing.
As I head into the last module, I'm gearing up for a long, hard slog, but at least I'm no longer alone in it all, it feels like I have someone in my corner. I'm prepared for the bumps in the road that are undoubtedly going to come, but I think I'll actually get there now, without sacrificing my sanity... At least, that's the hope ;)